CHILDREN ARE A REAL BLESSING FROM GOD Psalms 27:3
The birth of a child.this is a special matter in which god takes the the object of his promises and his blesing . God fills us (parents) with his spirit and trains us for a holy calling as believing parents . hence our parental relationships shpould become one of the best schools of life of faith and worship.
HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT,
It is the parents duty to teach and promote the fear of god in the family Deuteronomy 6:1,2,5&7. thou shalt love the lord thy god with all thine heart. these instructions can be given to children diligently with ttender love. as we ( parents)are devinely appointed for the ministry of the salvation of our children,we godly (parents ) must use diligence to reach the child,s heart with the words we speak parents also must learn the art of speaking in the spirit of love. parental instructions must not be set at times. instructions can be given while sitting together walking together, relaxing talking around the dinner table , at any time
from to evening , but with the wisdom of when and how to speak to the children . love will influence the children's hearts and gives a willing and listening ear. there will be timEs when gentler methods of discipline wont work.( the child refuses to get out of bed , wont get dressed , runs wildly aound the house or makes a mess at the dining table.) nd there doesn't seem to be any alternative bat physical force.
since it is appropriate it provides us with this alternative. disciplining the children is a three step procedure designed gently but pointedly to develope the bhaviour of child, statements such as 'WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME BEFORE YOU STARTED MISBEHAVING" present his indiscipline as a breach of the happiness that you normally share , and hold out the promise of its immediate restoretion as soon as he starts to behave.
CONSEQUENCES is the name of the second step. it is meant to remind the child, (who cannot be attracted by the offer of pleasure or reward by "positive results") that hs resistance is going to result in dissappointment (no park this weekend if you keep this up) a lost oppurtunity for him and sadness for (the parent) you. tell the child how much it distresses you to see such a wonderful child behaving so badly.
if the child's unruliness continues , use the third step which might be called " we both are going to regret this". any kind of physical force , no matter how gentle and well meant humiliates the child. the child should be reminded of that and also of your great unwillingness to be a party to such humiliation . tell the child that he Has arrived at the danger zone . unless his unruliness stops, you will have no alternative
but to apply the force ,that will make him feel belittled and you the parent disappointed. violent force in the form of hitting , slapping or spanking should never be used on a child through his resistence by putting your hands on their shoulders leading them to the next step. this will work out in most situations.the developement process takes time.
The parents who demonstrate through example produces two effects. most immediately seeing what parent "does or does not do" in a specific situation gives the child a model of how to behave in similar situations and in the long run it fcilitates th growth of discipline. but isn't limit setting through identification something parents do naturally? in most cases the answer is yes . the technique should be used more effectively. don't expect miracles from this technique. the child will still protest , but the incidents of the protests will be less. and now the child has a model of how to behave.
everyday we (parents) should seek god's wisdom and guidance in bringing up the children. we should examine ourselves and set ourselves right before we discipline our children.
Grace Parataiah CHERISH.